3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Randomize
