Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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