Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
and she was petting her beer can
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Randomize
