Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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