idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"