i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
