She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I chose taco bell over sex...
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.