the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
We need a shit load of segways right now
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.