I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I don't deserve a penis
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room