Texts From Last Night

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  (757): View more from Virginia

  Just be blunt and say drink from my dick

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  (757): Just be blunt and say drink from my dick http://tfl.nu/8snw
  Replies (1) Good night (1428) Bad night (631)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.

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  (917): she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could. http://tfl.nu/cj4q
  Replies (74) Good night (3996) Bad night (18124)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.

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  (732): Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend. http://tfl.nu/3lzx
  Replies (20) Good night (1071) Bad night (4326)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?

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  (407): Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ? http://tfl.nu/brtl
  Replies (10) Good night (4088) Bad night (1290)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..

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  (704): he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time.. http://tfl.nu/irbs
  Replies (6) Good night (1484) Bad night (4405)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  he asked me to hangout with him...and his son

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  (413): he asked me to hangout with him...and his son http://tfl.nu/p42y
  Replies (17) Good night (1000) Bad night (5343)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.

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  (916): Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is. http://tfl.nu/ux2h
  Replies (19) Good night (2695) Bad night (880)
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  (914): View more from New York

  You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.

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  (914): You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street. http://tfl.nu/q2es
  Replies (3) Good night (2929) Bad night (610)
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  (424): View more from California

  This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it

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  (424): This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it http://tfl.nu/0y9z
  Replies (2) Good night (1264) Bad night (545)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.

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  (608): Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are. http://tfl.nu/5ybn
  Replies (11) Good night (2690) Bad night (525)
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  (971): View more from Oregon

  Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.

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  (971): Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here. http://tfl.nu/bude
  Replies (2) Good night (850) Bad night (302)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  Also the fuck cup must be buried with me

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  (305): Also the fuck cup must be buried with me http://tfl.nu/f60l
  Replies (2) Good night (411) Bad night (284)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down

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  (613): Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down http://tfl.nu/70sk
  Replies (2) Good night (320) Bad night (526)
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  (716): View more from New York

  I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice

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  (716): I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice http://tfl.nu/9xrw
  Replies (1) Good night (526) Bad night (284)
• Favorite

  (571): View more from Virginia

  I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."

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  (571): I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar." http://tfl.nu/n1ur
  Replies (4) Good night (432) Bad night (186)

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