This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
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Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
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Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is