My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
