I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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