Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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