Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
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