making cat noises will not fix the situation.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Just high enough for therapy.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
