thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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