New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize