you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
