so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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