I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
