my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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