it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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