You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
