Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
