im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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