What did we do last night that was yellow?
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
