I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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