Even water is tasting like jack daniels
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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