...so i touched it.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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