Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
