I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
