My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
