p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
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is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
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Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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