Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
