i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
