Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
