I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
