All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
