bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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