Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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