My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
