Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
