I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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