No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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