just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
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You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
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He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
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