my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Randomize
