dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
