HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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