I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Randomize
