Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
