I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should my penis look like a turkey
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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