SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
