I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
