I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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