dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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