We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
