her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
soo... how was my night?
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