Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
