I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
