meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
