Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
