I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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