at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
