Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Randomize
