What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
