Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
