I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
