seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
