I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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