Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
