if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Enjoy the penises
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
